The dreaded word again. But wait, wasn’t attending motivation seminars a cure for depression? How can it cause depression?
Lets take the case of Ravi. He had a very bad habit of getting up late in the morning. This would make him chase time throughout the day. Being late getting out of the house in the morning, driving like crazy, reaching office just in time, inability to plan the day thoroughly and just ending getting into a mess throughout the day.
He happened to attend an official motivation lecture by a prominent speaker on how to change. The speaker was very eloquent and made his point forcefully with excellent examples and interesting activities. Ravi was fully charged and full of motivation & positive energy. But two days down the line the motivation level came down by 20%. Another two days later it was down 40% and one week down the line he was back to where he started. But this time he started blaming himself, ” I attended such a motivating lecture and still I cannot change myself….something is wrong with me………I’ll never change.” And so on and so forth. He started having these depressing thoughts. But lets examine his past learning. During his childhood on a particular day he got up late because of some reason. Unfortunately the same thing repeated 2-3 times over the next few days. His parents started critising him, “You are always late”, “You can never get up early” and this inadvertent learning kept on getting reinforced. Same thing kept on repeating itself and his friends and then gradually his wife and later on his kids kept on reinforcing this learning. It got embedded so much in his subconscious mind that however hard he may try to motivate himself he could never change this habit. And if he would attend a motivation lecture and still could not change himself he would blame himself more and more.
Doesn’t this happen with almost all of us? Our past learning is so strong that however hard we may try it seems almost impossible to change. In fact according to a report by University of Scranton 92% of people who set new year goals fail to meet them. Another report on wikipedia mentions that around 8% of the human population controls 80% of the human wealth. Are these two statistics related? Are the people who can change themselves the real affluent class of the world. Is the ability to change oneself so important? Unfortunately the answer is yes. Then the question comes that if it is so difficult than how does one change. As we learn from Ravi’s case the difficulty to change lies in the past learning that we have learned. It’s almost impossible to change unless we unlearn it. So how do we Unlearn? Yes this is the important question which needs to be answered before we decide to change.
Pl. find link to a small video on unlearning. Unlearning for Success!