Rahul, a middle manager In a good company wanted to treat his team like an elder brother. Being a good guy at heart he really wanted them to perform to their potential and move ahead in life. He tried all sorts of techniques of empowerment, motivation, trying not to micro manage and what not. But alas it was all in vain. The team members just refused to change their self defeating pattern of behaviour. On a vacation he found a good book on human psychology and realised that the problem wasn’t in the team but himself or rather how he was viewing the problem. And rather then being a brother he had been acting like a step-brother all along.
Let’s analyse what is the key difference between a brother and a step brother or a mom and a step-mom for that matter. It’s the beliefs about the child. Thus even when the mom is reprimanding or punishing the child for wrong behaviour, it’s a difficult act for mom to do and she also suffers while doing it. Step mom on the other hand doesn’t have any such repercussions, her objective is only to punish to change behaviour. There is a sense of apathy.
Is it a surprise to notice to which mom the child responds more.
The difference in their beliefs about the child is huge. Where mom believes the child to be inherently good, just needing the right direction, for the step mom the child may be an irritant or a duty/ responsibility or just a means to an end.
Taking this into work environment, though replicating motherly or brotherly love may be a challenge, isn’t it true that the best leaders fully empathise with the teams, support them in every possible way and agonise before reprimanding. They believe in the inherent goodness of their team members, in the team members’ desire to make themselves count and move ahead in life. Thus they forgive their small mistakes and try their hardest to improve their performance just like they would behave with an younger brother.
Not-so-good leaders on the other hand believe that the teams are inherently lazy and selfish and thus they don’t want to work and need pressurising, constant supervision or micro management to work.
Could it be said that maybe the good leaders give the teams the brotherly/ motherly treatment and others give step-brotherly.
Amazingly it may not be the not-so-good leaders’ fault that they have these beliefs. It may be the result of how their mind has got programmed over the years.
Is changing this mind-programming possible. Yes. Ultimately the only person we can change in the world is ourself. And there are simple mind-techniques which may be used by anyone to understand their real beliefs about their teams and change this programming. NLP is a good though a slow way. Alpha level Mind-Programming is a better and faster way. Visit www.kushaltaacademy.com to know more.