said a participant during a workshop on Leadership for Middle Managers at one of the leading IT companies. To give context, we had covered about two third of the workshop. So far participants had been able to uncover their hidden beliefs which were affecting their performance, related to team-handling, using certain mind techniques and they had tested these beliefs using certain other techniques, whether these beliefs were universal truths (and can't be changed) or created by mind (changeable ).
One of the beliefs uncovered and successfully tested to be untrue was "one can't make a team perform without micromanagement".
Now we were about to begin the third stage of using mind techniques to change this belief into something like "I trust my team and empower my team members to take their own decisions with me as a guide".
And suddenly the statement was raised. And there were some valid points to support the statement. "What if I get a new team and if they can't work without micromanagement, then what?".
It was a new situation for me as usually once a belief has been shown as untrue after testing then the participants are open and excited to learn techniques to change it.
I suddenly got an inspiration and replied "true you might have to do it initially in this case but changing the belief will still help you. Take an example of real mom vs step mom. Sometimes real mom also has to punish the child but she does it with compassion. Believing all the while in the inherent goodness of the child. And she suffers along with the child while punishing. The step mom on the other hand believes the child to be incorrigible and punishment as the only recourse. Which mom do you think the child will respond to and change behaviour gradually"
Luckily the penny dropped and the gentleman agreed that this belief needs changing.
And then I explained that changing a belief doesn't mean that our behaviour will be changed to the extent that we won't be able to behave that way anymore, even when required. In case required we'll still be able to use that particular behaviour, but with the understanding that it's a short term thing and we'll do it with lot more care & empathy. And results will be entirely different.
We have tens of thousands of beliefs. Some of them have been created by direct experience but majority of them by information bombardment on our brain. These are beliefs about how we view reality. And these beliefs create our personality, our identity and yes our behaviour. Most of these beliefs lie outside our conscious awareness. Is it a surprise that we may have a certain self-defeating pattern of behaviour. And we may try very hard to change it unsuccessfully. Simply because the belief behind that behaviour is very strong and unfortunately we are not even aware of that belief.
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