said couple of participants at a workshop on mind programming to improve performance. We were learning mind techniques to program a new behaviour when facing adverse circumstances. Circumstances like handling negative feedback, a colleague not collaborating, being blamed for failure etc. The techniques being discussed could be used to program oneself to stay calm in such situations, empathise with the other person, understand where he/she is coming from and trying to pin point the misunderstanding because that's what it is, in most of the cases. The gist was that the only person we can change in this world is oneself and as we change and start behaving differently, we elicit a changed reaction from the other person.
And then a few participants raised this issue that even if they acquire a new behaviour with colleagues, but what about the boss, who doesn't listen to you when discussing a course of action, decides on a wrong line line of action, despite your protests and then later when the decision backfires, forgets everything which happened during the discussion and starts blaming you. "How will changing our reaction help in a situation like this?"

"Ok", I said, let's analyse this, "how do you feel when this happens"? and they recounted the feeling of frustration, sense of disillusionment which affects their performance for a few days and sometimes even affects the personal life. And I was able to re-emphasise that this reaction only harms them in terms of bad quality of life at work and home. And wouldn't it be a better idea to change their reaction and program themselves to stay calm & balanced and empathise with the person, because a person such as this would be a very unhappy man and may have lots of trouble in his/her life. Also by staying calm we may try thinking of a better way to handle the situation next time. Thankfully the participants understood and decided to go ahead to learn mind techniques to program a new behaviour. what would you suggest...